How Forever Feels
by shadoweddawn
Summary: "God, how she loves this man. He would give her the world if she asked. Satisfied that with Castle, she already has the world, and the truth of what she wants slips out effortlessly." An AU 8x22 post ep.


Kate watches Castle saunter away, hazel eyes focusing on the broad expanse of his back as he makes his way towards the kitchen. She can hear the grin in his voice, her heart stuttering against her ribs at his easy smile.

"I like cooking for you."

He's happy. It's a good look for him. She's missed it.

"I like you cooking for me."

She catches Castle's eye as she walks towards the bedroom, tossing him a wink before turning towards the bed that beckons her.

Home.

Twirling the simple white gold wedding band symbolizing her home was with Castle, Beckett collapses with relief on the bed as her knees collide with the mattress. She takes her time looking around the room, a smile flirting along her lips as she focuses on the artifacts she and Castle have collected during their relationship.

Her gaze fell upon the seashells he had framed from their walk in the Hamptons. Maybe she could convince him to take another weekend away now that they were safe. She files the idea away as she studies the shells, how well they fit together. _Just like us.  
_

She reaches for Castle's pillow. It had migrated to her side of the bed when she'd left him for work what felt like a lifetime ago. Beckett breathes him in, reveling in their closeness as she hears the clattering of pots and pans in the kitchen.

She'd almost lost him.

They could have lost their future.

Her everything.

Toeing off the boots she has worn in countless battles, well-worn pieces of armor that had seen as much action as her gun and badge, takes work as tears prick at the corner of her eyes. She aches, the adrenaline finally fading as the soreness sets in, but she relishes the pain as she stretches her achy muscles, her fight of two decades now finally over.

She allows the tears of relief that gather fall. Offering a soft prayer for her mother, who had fought for justice long before Beckett had, she recognizes the joy is bittersweet. She finds herself unable to stop the tears of joy that their battle is finally won.

She lets her tears stain the white shirt she peels from her tired body, the salt mixing with remnants of the past two days clinging to the garment. Tossing the shirt towards the grey one Castle had abandoned yesterday, the words he had gotten her to believe in echo so clearly in her mind.

 _That's what all the great love stories are about, right? Beating the odds.  
_

"I'm making smorelettes, deal with it!" her husband calls loudly, footsteps signaling his approach. Laughter bubbles out of her before she can catch it, grateful for the moment of joy despite the tears that continue to fall.

"Made you a coffee, I thought you could use some…Kate?"

She waves off his worry, swiping at her eyes as he abandons the mug on the dresser.

"I'm okay, Castle."

He's stares at her, the words she's thrown at him for years falling on deaf ears. The silent plea from her husband is loud: n _o more secrets_. Kate loses herself in the softness of his eyes, the understanding almost too much for her to bear.

"We're alive."

The two words are more than enough as he nods, Castle lacing his fingers through hers and tugging her into the strong wall of his chest.

 _Say something reassuring.  
_

Her husband does the very thing he does best, his voice a whisper against her ear as the tears she's held back for years fall in earnest now. "We're okay, Kate. You're okay. I'm okay. We're home."

She feels his own tears wet her hair, her fingers pressing into the strong muscles of his neck as she draws his mouth down to hers. She sips the coffee from his lips as her tongue dances along his, her slender fingers skimming along the buttons on his shirt as she drowns in him.

His fingers lace through hers as he pulls back with heavy breaths, determination and love twinkling down at her. _"_ What do you want, Beckett. Tell me what you want and we'll do it. Paris, Maldives, California. Sleep for a week, go to Coney Island. Whatever you want, it's yours."

God, how she loves this man. He would give her the world if she asked. Satisfied that with Castle, she already has the world, and the truth of what she wants slips out effortlessly. "I want to have a baby."

He stills in her arms, jerking back from her as his blue eyes search her face. The quiet surrounds them as he studies her. Reaching for his hand and kissing the knuckle of his ring finger, Kate nods to confirm her sudden declaration.

"I…I've wanted to talk to you about it for so long, Castle. But then Loksat happened and I thought I had to protect you. And now that it's over…I don't want to run from our future anymore." She presses a soft kiss to his cheek before continuing, framing his face with her hands to hold his gaze.

"You said it yourself, there's never going to be a perfect time. But we're safe. We're here. We survived. And I want nothing more than to have a family with you Castle. To grow old with you. To have this life."

He barely lets her finish, his lips claiming hers in a fiery kiss as he walks her backwards. She giggles as they fall to the bed, Castle's teeth sinking into the soft skin of her neck and covering the mark with a kiss.

"Yes."

He breathes the word against her ear, sweeping away the hair that fell in front of her eyes, the joy she feels reflected back at her. Peppering her face with kisses he repeats the word over and over again, fingers sliding around her back to unclasp the white bra she still wears.

"No better time to start trying, right?" He grins, moving over her as she nods. She won't remind him of her birth control as her greedy fingers slip the buttons of his red shirt through the holes.

The bare broadness of his chest draws a sigh of delight from her. They've been married for over a year now; she's been home for a few months. Still, she can't deny the shiver of anticipation that races through her though as her husband looms over her, knee sliding between her open legs to get closer. His hands chase the goose bumps, fingers dancing down her collarbone and sternum.

His palm lingers against the bullet wound above her heart, his lips chasing his path of his hand. She finds the wound at his side, completely healed now just as his heart had been by her coming home. His gaze finds hers, lips stealing a kiss as his hand shifts lower to slip the button of her jeans free.

"Let's make a baby, Beckett."

She pushes the shirt off his shoulders, fingers skimming the hard muscles of his abs and a chuckle escaping as he hisses through his teeth. "Best way to make a baby is to take these things off," she hums as she pushes at his jeans.

Castle readily complies, her body aching with the lingering effect of his fingers on her skin as he abandons her in favor of removing his clothing. She follows suit, shoving at the jeans that still cling to her skin as Castle's eyes travel down the long length of her legs, eyes darkening at the thin thong she wore.

She starts to remove the garment, eager for his touch again, but Castle's fingers close around her wrist and he waits until she's met his gaze.

"No," he whispers against her leg as he presses a kiss to her thigh, Kate's hips bucking at the contact. "Those are for me."

She smirks at the command, flopping back on the bed as Castle stands before her, deliciously naked. Broad hands push her knees apart as he slides between them, a tender kiss finding its way to the thin black material separating his mouth from her wetness.

"That's not gonna get me pregnant either, Castle," she breathes, his chuckle hot across her flesh as his peels the underwear down her legs. Hands clamping around his ears she tries to pull him towards her, lips desperate for his kiss, but he stubbornly refuses, nestling further between her legs.

The cry of relief from her is instant as his tongue drags across her folds, drinking in the wetness that has already pooled between her thighs. Hands plunging in his hair she holds him to her, hips bucking towards his seeking mouth.

"Fuck, Castle…" she feels his smug grin as teases her with his broad fingers, barely pushing inside her even as she begs for more. His tongue continues its delicious torment of her clit as he finally thrusts his fingers deep, curling them with expertise.

He plays her perfectly, his study of her body never ceasing. "God, Kate…you taste so good," he murmurs as he teases another thick finger inside her, tongue lapping at the juice that flows from her. She's so close, each roll of her hips and brush of his knuckles igniting the flames that threaten to overtake her.

Suddenly he's gone, her body clenching around nothing as he withdraws his hand and tongue. A growl of frustration fills the room as he crawls up her body, hips bracketed by hers instantly. Pressing her heels into his calves, her teeth pierce his bottom lip in disappointment.

He silences her with his fingers, her taste lingering on his digits. She sucks greedily, tongue swirling around each finger with a hum of approval. She meets the deep blue arousal in his eyes, his breath hot against her cheek as he commands, "Say it again."

Hands falling to his ass she draws him in, gasping as he slips inside her. "I want to have a baby with you." His lips crash on hers as he thrust fully, her moan floating into his mouth at the sudden fullness.

He's gentle, each roll of his hips punctuated with a kiss as he draws the words from her again, hands finding purchase against the soft flesh of her hips as he pushes into her. She nips at his pulse, soothing the sting with her tongue as she meets his languid movements.

Kate's heart stammers against her ribs as he finds her hand, pressing a soft kiss to her wedding ring as he moves within her deliberately. She's deliciously on edge, her body so receptive to his every movement, the dance they've perfected a masterpiece.

"Castle please…" He answers her plea for more with a deep thrust. Slipping a hand between their sweat slicked bodies his thumb finds her swollen clit, coaxing her over the edge. She swears she sees stars as she clenches around him, the hard clash of his hips against hers dragging out her orgasm as he spills hotly inside her.

"Ahhh…fuck…Kate…God."

She welcomes the weight of him as he collapses on top of her, fingers tracing inconsequential patterns on his back as their breathing slowly returns to normal.

Castle drags the covers over them as he rolls off of her, his lips chasing a bead of sweat that trickles down her arm as he collapses beside her. "I can't wait to have a baby with you, Kate. A little girl. Just like you."

"I don't know, Castle. Not sure if you could handle two of us. I'm thinking a boy, and they look like you," she murmurs with a kiss to his temple. Kate catches the soft smile that plays around the corners of his mouth as she closes her eyes.

"Well, I am ruggedly handsome after all."

* * *

 _As always, many many thanks for your time and any reviews are much appreciated. All my gratitude to the lovely ladies who read over this for me, I owe you guys some drinks. All my thanks._


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